Get the dates right

A guide was taking a party round the British Museum.
'This sarcophagus is five thousand years old.'
A bearded figure with a turban stepped forward. 'You are mistaken,' said Nasrudin, 'for it is five thousand and three years old.'
Everyone was impressed, and the guide was not pleased. They passed into another room.
'This vase', said the guide, 'is two thousand five hundred years old.'
'Two thousand five hundred and three,' intoned Nasrudin.
'Now look here,' said the guide, 'how can you date things so precisely ? I don't care if you do come from the East, people just don't know things like that.'
'Simple,' said Nasrudin. 'I was last here three years ago. That time you said the vase was two thousand five hundred years old.'

What is in My hand

Someone asked Nasrudin to guess what he had in his hand.“Give me a clue,” said the Mulla.“I'll give you several,” said the wag. “It is shaped like an egg, egg-sized, looks, tastes and smells like an egg. Inside it is yellow and white. It is liquid within before you cook it, coalesces with heat. It was, moreover, laid by a hen…”“I know!” interrupted the Mulla. “It is some sort of cake.”

Is it Me?

Nasrudin went into a bank with a cheque to cash.
'Can you identify yourself?' asked the clerk.
Nasrudin took out a mirror and peered into it.
'Yes, that's me all right,' he said.

Right some of the time

The Mulla's clock was always wrong.
'Can't you do something about that clock, Mulla?' someone asked him.
'What?'
'Well, it is never right. Anything would be an improvement on that.'
The Mulla hit it with a hammer. It stopped.
'You are right, you know,' he said, 'this really is an improvement.'
'I did not mean literally anything. How can it be better now than it was before?'
'Well, you see, before I stopped it it was never right. Now it is right twice a day, isn't it?'

Lost Donkey

Nasruddin loved his donkey. One day the townspeople came running, "Effendi, Effendi!, your little donkey is lost!"
Nasruddin replied: "Praised be to Allah! Why, if I was on him I would have been lost too!"

Company time

Hamza had taken a job in a factory. The foreman saw him lay down his tools and start to walk towards the door.
'What do you think you are doing?'
'I am going to have my hair cut.'
'You can't have your hair cut in the Company's time!'
'But I grew it in the Company's time.'
'Not all of it, you didn't.'
'All right, then, I won't have all of it off.'

Questions Answered

Nasruddin opened a booth with a sign above it: Two Questions On Any Subject Answered For Only 100 Silver Coins A man who had two very urgent questions handed over his money, saying: A hundred silver coins is rather expensive for two questions, isn't it? Yes, said Nasruddin, and the next question, please?