Eid Mubarak

Observation

observation

I went to my friendly neighborhood coffee shop for a cup of tea and to read a book. I wanted tea made with milk, very familiar to those from the sub-continent as chai. and they had this as chai latte, and the size choice i got was venti. yes to order my cup of tea 4 languages had to be used and honestly adding latte to chai just seems redundant to me.

come on now someone tell me a joke.

Obama

As you may now know i talked with Obama and i have declined his offer of the VP spot, forcing him to go with his second choice of Joe Biden. I am sure Joe will do a fine job.

"Ahmed, Say Something Funny,"

The idea for the film, "Ahmed, Say Something Funny," was hatched about six years ago when Cal State Northridge cinema and television arts professor Thelma Vickroy caught a performance of comedian Ahmed Ahmed at the Comedy Store in Hollywood.

Her friends, CSUN art alum Fred Beshid, a Los Angelesbased writer, artist and producer, and his sister, Northridge child development alum Susan Beshid, insisted that the comedian's life story was one that Vickroy, a documentary maker, would want to tell.

"I am interested in doing stories about people who are kind of on the outside but trying to make their way and be accepted," Vickroy said. "Ahmed was born in Egypt, but came here when he was only six months old and grew up in Southern California. He's chosen one of the absolutely hardest careers you could possibly choose¡ªto be a comedian and actor. I couldn't resist."

http://www.sanfernandosun.com/sanfernsun/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2528&Itemid=2

GW diet

i don't know why people keep giving prez. bush such a hard time under his guiding hand i have managed to loose 10 pounds.

Interfaith joke

I have recently observed America coming together more and more. Indeed most religious services in America regardless of faith,denomination or sect begin with the same sacred invocation.






"Please turn off your cell phone"

Turkey pepperoni

You might be an An American Muslim if you believe that Turkey Pepperoni is one of the greatest inventions of the 20th century.

Iqamah

You might be an American Muslim if you think the Iqamah begins with "Please turn off your cell phones"

Stand up

I watched this on PBS and overall it was very good.

http://www.pbs.org/weta/crossroads/about/show_standup.html

It’s an age-old American tradition: immigrant groups take up comedy to fight against discrimination. One path to understanding is to make people laugh. Now Muslim-Americans have come forward to help dismantle the stereotypes and hatred that have surged since September 11, 2001.
STAND UP: Muslim American Comics Come of Age is the story of five comedians: Ahmed Ahmed, Tissa Hami, Dean Obeidallah, Azhar Usman and Maysoon Zayid.


Each of these artists felt the aftershock of 9/11 personally. At a time when people of Middle Eastern origin were advised to lay low, they all chose to stand up — and tell jokes. This film explores how they are responding to 9/11, each in a different way, but all using humor to define who they are.
STAND UP is the story of Ahmed's battle to get beyond playing "Terrorist No. 4." It's about Obeidallah's journey to discover his Arab heritage. It's about Zayid's resolve to turn being "a Palestinian Muslim woman virgin with cerebral palsy from New Jersey" into a career asset. It’s about Usman’s quest to become the Muslim comedy role model he himself never found. It’s about Hami’s determination to challenge American conceptions about Muslim women.
“We can’t define who we are on a serious note because nobody will listen.
The only way to do it is to be funny about it.”
– Ahmed Ahmed
From false arrests to death threats, these comics face challenges from both mainstream America and within the Muslim community. All are at critical points in their careers, each evolving differently as a comic. But they are all striving for one thing: to break through the typecasting and achieve mainstream comedy success.
Following in the footsteps of comics such as Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, George Lopez, and Margaret Cho, they are using stand-up comedy to make the case for Arab and Muslim inclusion in the American “public square.”
Above all, STAND UP: Muslim American Comics Come of Age is an American story. Which means almost anything is fair game for a laugh.

http://www.pbs.org/weta/crossroads/about/show_standup.html

Arranged marriage

I heard a Muslim Sister say " My friend Jennifer says she does not understand how i can have an arranged marriage. when i ask her why? she says how can you sleep with someone you do not know. but she does it all the time.

Not funny

Not really a joke but dealing with Islam And Humour.

Comedian and writer Ben Elton has said the BBC is too "scared" to broadcast jokes about Muslims for fear of provoking radical Islamists.
Elton, in an interview with Christian magazine Third Way, added that the broadcaster would "let vicar gags pass but would not let imam gags pass".
He said fear rather than "moral sensibilities" fuelled decisions about what material was appropriate.
A BBC spokeswoman said: "No subject is off limits for BBC comedy."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7326476.stm

sleepy head

A man sleepy from working all night is sitting through the Friday Khutba, finding it long and boring. Still feeling tired, he finally nods off.
The Khatib has been watching him all along, noticing his dozing off and is disgusted. Nearing the end of the Khutba, the Khatib decides to make an example of him. He says to the congregation, "All those wishing to have a place in heaven, please stand." The whole room stands up except, of course, the sleeping man.
Then the khatib says even more loudly, "And he who would like to find a place in hell please STAND UP!" The weary man catching only the last part groggily stands up, only to find that he's the only one standing.
Confused and embarrassed he says to the khatib, "I don't know what we're voting on here, brother , but it sure seems like you and me are the only ones standing for it!"

strange food

The other day a Mullah went to the doctor. He said: doctor, my beard aches.
The doctor asked him: what did you eat for lunch? He replied: I ate bread and ice.
The doctor answered back: neither your pain resembles the pains of the people nor your food is like theirs.

Inshallah

There's something about us Muslims:We don't like to go to the doctor.We like to say: "Everything is in God's hands."

One time my Mom came home,she was like: "Did you do the dishes?"
I'm like: "Hey Mom, It's in God's hands."

Cultural confusion

A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, “Why weren’t you successful with the Arabs?” The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters... First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand... totally exhausted and fainting. Second, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place" "That should have worked," said the friend. The salesman replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn't realize that Arabs read from right to left..."

3 JINNS

i HAVE BEEN RECENTLY INFORMED THAT EVERYONE SHOULD SAY A PRAYER BEFORE DRINKING WATER SINCE IN WATER RESIDE THREE JINNS,
TWO HYDRO JINNS AND ONE OXY JINN.

Looking for a spouse online

distractions during Salat

I think every muslim has dealt with all of this that he talks about.

everything you need to know about Jummah

flying while Muslim

Haram police

I found this quite amusing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4Q1vHQxsss

Party

Now we party like its 1429

Happy New year

TODAY IS THE FIRST OF MUHARRAM SO

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Happy New year

HAPPY NEW YEAR