Don't abuse Inshallah

Mullah Nasruddin had saved up to buy a new shirt. He went to a tailor's shop,full of excitement. The tailor measured him and said, "Come back in a week,and--if Allah wills--your shirt will be ready."The Mullah contained himself for a week and then went back to the shop. "Therehas been a delay. But--if Allah wills--your shirt will be ready tomorrow."The following day Nasruddin returned. "I am sorry," said the tailor, "but it isnot quite finished. Try tomorrow, and--if Allah wills--it will be ready.""How long will it take," asked the exasperated Nasruddin, "if you leave Allah outof it?"

Walnuts and Pumpkins

One hot day, Nasruddin was taking it easy in the shade of a walnut tree. After a time, he started eying speculatively, the huge pumpkins growing on vines and the small walnuts growing on a majestic tree. Sometimes I just can't understand the ways of God! he mused. Just fancy letting tinny walnuts grow on so majestic a tree and huge pumpkins on the delicate vines! Just then a walnut snapped off and fell smack on Mullah Nasruddin's bald head. He got up at once and lifting up his hands and face to heavens in supplication, said: "Oh, my God! Forgive my questioning your ways! You are all-wise. Where would I have been now, if pumpkins grew on trees

Rent

A big, burly man visited the Nasruddin's home and asked to see Mullah Nasruddin, as nasruddin was well known for his charitable impulses."Mullah," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400.""How terrible!" exclaimed Mullah Nasruddin. "May I ask who you are?"The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. "I'm the landlord," he sobbed.

Money

Mullah Nasruddin stood up on the minbar one friday and announced to the people in the Masjid," I have good news and i have bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new Masjid.. The bad news is, it 's still out there in your pockets."

Party?

Hamza was on his last dying breath. He was upstairs in the bed and was about to slip out of this world, when he smelled it.The most wonderful smell. Baklava, baking in the oven downstairs.He struggled out of the bed. He could not stand up, so he crawled over the stairway and rolled down the stairs. He crawled into the kitchen and pulled himself up to the counter where the baklava was cooling on the rack. He took one and put it to his mouth. Awe that wonderful smell, that wonderful taste.Aisha walked up behind him and said, " Shame on you Hamza. That Baklava is for after the funeral."

lying

Nasruddin told his class, "Next week I plan the Khutba to be about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Surah 85 ayats 25 to 30." The following Friday, as he prepared to deliver his Khutba, Mullah Nasruddin asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Surah 85 ayats 25 to 30. Every hand went up. Mullah Nasruddin smiled and said, "Surah 85 has only 22 ayats. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

Donkey

One day , one of Mullah Nasruddin's friend came over and wanted to borrow his donkey for a day or two. Mullah, knowing his friend, was not kindly inclined to the request, and came up with the excuse that someone had already borrowed his donkey. Just as Mullah uttered these words, his donkey started braying in his backyard. Hearing the sound, his friend gave him an accusing look, to which Mullah replied: "I refuse to have any further dealings with you since you take a donkey's word over mine

to give or to recieve

A wealthy merchant fell into a lake and as he could not swim started to drown. a crowd of men were trying to save him each yelling at him "give me your hand merchant give me your hand" but the wealthy merchant continued to thrash around in the water.Nasrudin seeing all the commotion and watching everyone moved quickly to the edge of the water shouting at the merchant "Take my hand" the merchant quickly grabbed his hand, and Nasrudin hauled him out of the water.everyone was amazed and asked nasrudin how is it that you were able to save him when we could not."it was easy", Nasrudin replied, "I know this mercahnt and he was going to drown before he gave anything, but it was easy for him to take mine."

Camel

A man was loading far to many boxes on his camel, finaly he had one small box left and he asked the camel, "may i put this box on your back, to which the camel responded, " sure i'm not going anywhere."

Khutba

Once, the people of The City invited Mulla Nasruddin to deliver a khutba. When he got on the minbar (pulpit), he found theaudience was not very enthusiastic, so he asked "Do you know what I am going to say?" The audience replied "NO", so heannounced "I have no desire to speak to people who don't even know what I will be talking about" and he left.The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day. This time when he asked the same question, the peoplereplied "YES" So Mullah Nasruddin said, "Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won't waste any more of yourtime" and he left.Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mullah to speak thefollowing week. Once again he asked the same question - "Do you know what I am going to say?" Now the people were preparedand so half of them answered "YES" while the other half replied "NO". So Mullah Nasruddin said "The half who know what I amgoing to say, tell it to the other half" and he left!

Nasruddin

"May the Will of Allah be done," a pious man was saying about something or the other."It always is, in any case," said Mullah Nasruddin."How can you prove that, Mullah?" asked the man."Quite simply. If it wasn't always being done, then surely at some time or another my will would be done, wouldn't it?"