Hoping everyone has a blessed Ramadan
This is where the Muslims come to laugh come and laugh with us, or even come to laugh at us. Everyday I shall try to bring you a little laughter and wisdom.
Amr ibn al-As said: I had a sexual dream on a cold night in the battle of Dhat al-Salasil. I was afraid, if I washed/bathed I would die. I, therefore, performed Tayammum and led my companions in the dawn prayer. They mentioned that the Messenger of Allah (p). He said: 'Amr, you led your companions in prayer, while you were sexually defiled? I informed him of the cause which impeded me from taking a bath. And I said: I heard Allah say: "Do not kill yourself, verily Allah is merciful to you." The Messenger of Allah laughed and did not say anything. [Sunan Abu Dawood, Vol. 1, #334]
Two prisoners sit in a prison cell the black inmate complains "A black man can never get a fair trial in America."
Hasan Basri (Allah be pleased with him) says that an old woman came to Rasoolullah (Allah bless him and give him peace) and made a request, O’ Messenger of Allah make Dua that Allah grants me entrance into Jannah.Rasoolullah (Allah bless him and give him peace) replied, O’ Mother, an old woman cannot enter Jannah. That woman started crying and began to leave. Rasoolullah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, Say to the woman that one will not enter in a state of old age, but Allah will make all the women of Jannah young virgins. Allah Ta’aala says, Lo! We have created them a (new) creation and made them virgins, lovers, equal in age. (Surah Waaqi’ah, 35-37).
Nasruddin was determined to be decisive and efficient. one day he told his wife he would plow his largest field on the far side of the river and be back for a big dinner. She urged him to say, "If Allah is willing."He told her whether Allah was willing or not, that was his plan. The frightened wife looked up to Allah and asked forgiveness.Nasruddin loaded his wooden plow, hitched up the oxen to the wagon, climbed on his donkey, and set off.But within the short span of a day the river flooded from a cloudburst and washed his donkey downstream, and one of the oxen broke a leg in the mud, leaving Nasruddin to hitch himself in its place to plow the field.Having finished only half the field, at the sunset he set out for home exhausted and soaking wet. The river was still high so he had to wait until long past dark to cross over.After midnight a very wet but much wiser Nasruddin knocked at his door. Who is there Asked his wife.I think it is me, Nasruddin, he replied, if Allah is willing!
Narrated Ibn Mas'ud: "Mix with the people on the condition that your Deen is not jeopardized, and be jestful with the family." [Sahih al-Bukhari, Chapter 81 on "To be cheerful with the people"]